I am hurting in new places tonight. Places I didn’t know existed until they began to throb and smart . Which one do I soothe? Which can I heal? Will they ache till dawn?
There’s the matter of my people: small, important yet more fractured than cracked glass. Why can’t we think? Why don’t we see that we are better off together? That together everyone achieves more?
Then there’s the matter of the blogpost. I couldn’t breathe for days after I had said yes. It was like my soul had been mortgaged for three pence. Saying no, was a boulder rolled off my chest. I have no regrets.
About Barbie, it’s difficult. We are siblings. We are one. Before the world at least. But to listen to her assertions while knowing she is just as guilty of the crimes rankles in a space bellow my gut. We can’t talk about it because we’d be labelled as haters but emotions don’t read. So my heart churns with the hypocrisy and insincerity of it all. And the fact that my share holdings pay for the show doesn’t help. I wonder if it would carry the same hype if it was undressed. And shown for the tribalistic bit of bunkum that it is.
About Nigeria, the matter is stale. Yet my heart clamours for community based leadership where people are unbiased and unafraid. Where we can look a man in the eye and say ‘Da Udo, you aren’t a prudent man’. And choose someone we know will deliver because his past shows a track record of success.
A desire, to see growth from the community, in the community and for the community. To see us seek solutions for our problems by ourselves.
To cast aside colonial thinking, ideas designed to prosper The Crown. To re-think local/illegal refineries. Consider upgrading, equipping and licensing them. Giving them a niche. Taxing and supervising their products. Sending young engineers to oversee and assist them. If nothing else, as a blow to our escalating unemployment rate.
When will we think? When will we grow? When will we face the truth and stop living in shadows?
No answers yet, my aching continues.