My Fair Lady 2

As the Day of Hearts drew near, Ugo grew thin with fear. He couldn’t eat or drink. He couldn’t sing or think. His modest mansion was awash in a dim grey glow.

What could he do to win Hildebrand? What could he give? He wasn’t as wealthy as Henry who had ordered an entire Island designed for Hildebrand. Once she said yes, it would be named the Isle of Hilda.

He didn’t have Blondie’s quick wits. Sometimes it took him days to find the perfect rejionder for Blondie’s jabs; by then, they were stale and bland.

He wasn’t an ugly man, but by Macle, his modest good looks might as well be Shrek’s. The more Ugo thought about his chances, the more he wanted to give up.

But Love doesn’t fail, and it never gives up. So Ugo sent for Panku and LaPap, his closest friends and allies. If he was to have any chance at all, he had to do something amazing, magnificent and wondrous. And that with modest means, looks and wit.

Panku and LaPap came by evening. The trio sat in Ugo’s parlour drinking grape juice and hibiscus nectar as they pondered Ugo’s plight.

“Give up my friend.” LaPap said, downing the contents of his glass before refilling. “You have no chance against these men. Were it one or the other, you would probably have a hair’s breath, as it is, you are finished.”

LaPap’s words rang in Ugo’s soul like a Death Knell.

“Nonsense!” Panku exclaimed. “Does Love move with the wind? Is it scared of charlatans and contenders? Or is it steadfast and sure? Have no fear, Ugo. You will win Hildebrand. All we need is a plan.” And with a swish of her long green skirt, she fetched a drawing board and a pen.

Hours later, a plan had been formed. It wasn’t the best of plans but it was better than any Ugo had thought of (if he had been able to think at all). And for this, Ugo was grateful.

He would have been less pleased if he knew that LaPap had sold his plans to Henry for a 40 percent share in his oil and gas company. His ignorance was bliss that would soon turn to an intense and shocking agony.


* *

The lots were drawn and Ugo would be the last to see Hildebrand. A terrible turn of events, akin to being asked to sing after Whitney Huston or to speak after Barack Obama or Nelson Mandela.

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My Fair Lady

Ugo wasn’t as rich as the other men that wanted Hildebrand nor was he as outstanding. He wasn’t as tall as Henry or as handsome as Macle. He wasn’t even as smart as Blondie. One thing was sure, though : no man in the length and breath of Suladia loved Hildebrand as much as he did.

In Suladia, women were wooed once a year, on the 1st day of the tenth month. This gave all men fair opportunity, preventing a true lover from being bested by an eager hare. On the Day of Hearts, as the day was called, single women, eighteen years old and above would be wooed by suitors from far and near. If a suitable match was found, they would court for twelve months and then, if no impediment was found, they would marry for life. Divorce was not permitted on Suladia.

So, the ladies did everything they could do to get the eye of that special man they would spend the rest of their lives with.

Some families, like the Asekanos–Hildebrand’s– were fortunate. Their’s was not a frantic flurry of final touches, nor the panicky prayers of fear. They were sure that Hildebrand would be spoken for. They were sure, in fact, that she would be spoken for by many a man. The question on their minds was, who would she accept? They wondered about this, with cheery content smiles, for in all of Suladia, there was no damsel as fair as Hildebrand.

Their concerns were genuine. For as the 1st day of the tenth month drew nigh, four men had plans to woo Hildebrand, each of them a noble in his own right.

The first was Macle. Macle was a handsome, wealthy lord. He had made his fortune as a basketball star, garnering endorsements and trophies like magnets draw pins. He lived in a large mansion on the sprawling hills of Redia with hundreds of servants and a fleet of fast cars. All across Suladia, prayers were made that Macle might choose one girl or the other, but Macle’s eyes were just for Hildebrand.

The next was Henry. At 6 foot 6 inches, Lord Henry was the tallest in all of Suladia. A good thing, as polls had shown that the beauties of Suladia favoured tall men over average. Henry wasn’t only tall. He was also rich. A second generation millionaire, he had inherited his money from his father. Most of his estate had been reinvested and now he had a considerable fortune in gas, oil, sugar, real estate and gold. He intended to use every penny at his disposal to win Hildebrand or die trying.

Then there was Blondie. Blondie was brilliant. He invented planes that were fuelled with air, inflatable houses that were bullet proof and pills that helped women shed pregnancy weight in days while they ate whatever they would. For his inventions many corporations paid him huge endowments and gave him generous grants. He was respected in Suladia and around the world. It was thought that the girl he choose would be crazy to say anything but yes.

Ugo knew his competition, and the knowledge was a dead weight hung on his soul. He was a man of average height with average means and average intelligence. He might be considered good looking by some, but certainly not when Macle was present. The more he thought of his prospects of winning Lady Hildebrand, the more he wanted to crawl into a cave.

To be continued after 10 Comments. Kinda kidding, but what do you think? Is this a worthy tale? Do I go on? Yea or nay?

Paradise II

Work ended by 2pm. Here, there was no night, only different shades of morning. I watched as people milled out of the large beautifully furnished hall. I felt so alone. A dark lady with olive green eyes came towards me and smiled.

“Hi” She said, but she was gone before I had a chance to reply.

Amanti showed up then “Hello newbie, how did it go?”

Relief flooded my heart like a huge wave, “Oh Ama! Where were you? I thought you would never come. Wow! I had an amazing time today. We studied Francine and Dekker and Sidney Sheldon. I even wrote a little poem. Wanna see?

“Sure” Amanti said as we walked towards the exit.

“Promise me you won’t laugh…”


I brought out the pocket writer from my purse. A few flicks and the screen was aglow in a lovely purple, black and gold. The poem was a simple one, it said:

Everything around me,
Every wish come true,
Eternity would still be wanting
If it didn’t have you.

“Nice! You have a way with words. That should be set to music. I’ll show it to Menim. His charge is a musician. I am sure they’ll come up with something.” He smiled again showing bright white teeth and a glint of gold.

“Woah! You have a gold tooth. Is that allowed?” I asked in shock.

He threw back his head and laughed. “Easy! Of course it is. There is no lack or scarcity here. Besides nothing about appearance is permanent. Here we can shape-shift to achieve different results.” He smiled again. Now, the gold tooth was diamond sparkling where his upper right canines should have been.

I swallowed. This was getting interesting.

“We can port to your place but I thought you would like to walk around a bit. Get used to the place.”

“Yes, I would like to walk a bit. Thank you.”

There was too much to see. Everything was a form of art. The lovely business premises on both sides of the street. People walking, running, surfing and skating down the streets. Amanti explained that there was no hurt here. Every one had a forcefield that made sure nothing hit them. You couldn’t slap or get slapped. Even if you jumped out of a 30th floor window, you just sailed down like a scuba diver and hovered an inch above the pavement.

I was awed speechless. If I wasn’t in Paradise I would probably have a headache. The possibilities were endless. No aeroplane crashes, no assault, no fractures, no gunshot injuries. Wow.

We passed a glass house named Photo Art and I saw my reflection. I stopped and stared.

To be continued…


Last night I fell asleep and woke up in the new earth. The planet wasn’t the way I thought it would be. It wasn’t an endless garden with orchards, lakes and unicorns. It didn’t have angels flying around, plucking heart strings or shooting arrows. It looked like the present earth only there was no scarcity, sickness, serpents or cops.

In the new earth, there were no babies, and no old people. All of us were in our late twenties or so it appeared. We had electricity but it was non lethal. Yeah, marijuana was there but it didn’t have side effects, was just like green tea with a high. No, there was no sex. Not even self service. Our sexes didn’t matter. Reproductive organs shrunk so all that was left was a urethra–a pee hole.

People worked in the new earth. I knew where I would be even before my guide took me there.

“Saint, guess where we are going?” Amanti asked me with a smile dancing on his lips. He wore a lilac shirt and blue jeans, good looking angel.

“The Literature Hub?” I replied, giddy from all the new sights and sounds.

“Of course.” He answered. He held my hand and we disappeared to reappeared at The Dais. The Dais was the planet’s Literature Hub. Every known work of writing had been translated to Humanish, a new language that all the inhabitants of the new earth spoke and understood.
Work was bliss. All we did was read, discuss and write.

Every month we took turns as moderator and students. Every work was seen to have merit. Even doodles were preserved as Springs Of Spontaneity. We edited a lot though. We had to make sure every work achieved its BPS– Best Possible State. We did this while having access to a feast of fruits, alcoholic drinks that didn’t get you drunk but left you pleasantly relaxed and non-fattening milk chocolate.

To be continued.