TwitterNg is the home of Twitter drama, it also famous for perennial gender wars; it was still unprepared for the Storm following the thread by Ozzyetomi asking men to pay their wives, this one was huge.
In a series of tweets–a thread, of you will– Ozzyetomi explained how unfair it was for women to sacrifice for the home for years and have nothing to show for it at the end, especially when married to relatively well off men.
After that, the battle began.
Responses were sharp and silly, affirmative and scornful, dissenting and supportive
As usual, there was no consensus on the matter at the end of the day. Many people felt it was an absurd patronising idea.
While many other felt it was not even enough and asserted that every partner should have equal access to all family funds.
While the term ‘salary’ has been an object of debate and ridicule, (Ozzyetomi later recanted the term), most people agree that women have historically been under compensated for their roles in the home. This was especially poignant in the light of a study by Welch’s that showed being a full time house wife was the equivalent of two full time jobs. Of course there was snark about that, someone asked which jobs allow you to be in pyjamas and stay on the phone all day. That, was swiftly rebuffed with a long list of jobs one can do that don’t care what you wear or how long you are on the phone.
So the science shows that being a housewife is work and most people agree they should be compensated but many men are still resistant to the idea and many women too.
Questions have been raised about ‘salary structure’ ‘promotions’ ‘hiring additional hands’ and so on. But while many quibble over the terminology–upkeep, salary, allowance, pay– it is undeniable that many women deserve more from their well off husbands. Any woman ( or human for that matter) who sacrifices for the home should be compensated from income that comes to the family. Even in the midst of the ruckus, one thing that cannot be denied is that women have traditionally and historically cheated and this should change. Marriages should be a union of two people to be stronger, better, and happier not a means to oppress and kill people’s dreams. Even if your partner works, if you are better off, you should contribute to make them comfortable too. And if you are a full time caree for your home, you need to plan for your welfare.
Some ways to do this include:
1. Talk finance with your fiancé. Know what you both earn now and are looking to earn in future. Agree on who will be the primary source of income and how the family finances will be structured. If you want a salary, talk about it.
2. Be very aware of the wording in documents. For example, don’t allow an agreement state Mr and Mrs Obasanjo. There may be a million Mr Obasanjo’s, make sure your first (and possibly second name is reflected).
3. If you earn much more than your spouse and they spend most of their time taking care of the home, endeavour to split your pay with them.
4. If you feel unfairly treated, speak up.
5. If you are at home, explore ways to improve your financial intelligence and stability (study, savings, investments, remote jobs, training).
6. Always keep an eye on the future: if you can’t work, maybe you can study; if not at a full time program, maybe distance learning or online.
7. Keep looking out for yourself, don’t give up on yourself, take good care of you, always.