Compensation For Wives Causes TwitterNg Storm

TwitterNg is the home of  Twitter drama, it also famous for perennial gender wars; it was still unprepared for the Storm following the thread by Ozzyetomi asking men to pay their wives, this one was huge.

In a series of tweets–a thread, of you will– Ozzyetomi explained how unfair it was for women to sacrifice for the home for years and have nothing to show for it at the end, especially when married to relatively well off men.

 

After that, the battle began.

Responses were sharp and silly, affirmative and scornful, dissenting and supportive

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As usual, there was no consensus on the matter at the end of the day. Many people felt it was an absurd patronising idea.

 

While many other felt it was not even enough and asserted that every partner should have equal access to all family funds.

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While the term ‘salary’ has been an object of debate and ridicule, (Ozzyetomi later recanted the term), most people agree that women have historically been under compensated for their roles in the home. This was especially poignant in the light of a study by Welch’s that showed being a full time house wife was the equivalent of two full time jobs. Of course there was snark about that, someone asked which jobs allow you to be in pyjamas and stay on the phone all day. That, was swiftly rebuffed with a long list of jobs one can do that don’t care what you wear or how long you are on the phone.

So the science shows that being a housewife is work and most people agree they should be compensated but many men are still resistant to the idea and many women too.

Questions have been raised about ‘salary structure’ ‘promotions’ ‘hiring additional hands’ and so on. But while many quibble over the terminology–upkeep, salary, allowance, pay– it is undeniable that many women deserve more from their well off husbands. Any woman ( or human for that matter) who sacrifices for the home should be compensated from income that comes to the family. Even in the midst of the ruckus, one thing that cannot be denied is that women have traditionally and historically cheated and this should change. Marriages should be a union of two people to be stronger, better, and happier not a means to oppress and kill people’s dreams. Even if your partner works, if you are better off, you should contribute to make them comfortable too. And if you are a full time caree for your home, you need to plan for your welfare.

Some ways to do this include:

1. Talk finance with your fiancé. Know what you both earn now and are looking to earn in future. Agree on who will be the primary source of income and how the family finances will be structured. If you want a salary, talk about it.
2. Be very aware of the wording in documents. For example, don’t allow an agreement state Mr and Mrs Obasanjo. There may be a million Mr Obasanjo’s, make sure your first (and possibly second name is reflected).
3. If you earn much more than your spouse and they spend most of their time taking care of the home, endeavour to split your pay with them.
4. If you feel unfairly treated, speak up.
5. If you are at home, explore ways to improve your financial intelligence and stability (study, savings, investments, remote jobs, training).
6. Always keep an eye on the future: if you can’t work, maybe you can study; if not at a full time program, maybe distance learning or online.
7. Keep looking out for yourself, don’t give up on yourself, take good care of you, always.
Cheers🍸

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Your Complete Guide To Twitter Abbreviations

So. You joined Twitter. Changed your avi from an egg, wrote a bio, followed a bunch of celebrities in your fields of interest, followed some other normal folk, got followed back.

You are having a great time: reading tweets and laughing, giving some tackles here and there, just enjoying the space then you get hit by some vele, bona hakuna matata (deftly inserted Afrikaans, usually placed at the end of a very interesting tweet that began in English). You survive that. But then you find that you are being hit by abbreviations at every turn. Lol. LWKMD. LWFMD. SMH. KMT. SOML. NGL. IDK. IDC. HMU. LMK. OTP. IKR. MYB. FR.

Now the real panic sets in. And if you are like me, hours and hours later your brain ins still playing the game, a giant scrabble like puzzle where you keep trying words to make sense of it. Sometimes after a minute or two, light dawns and you realize that SOML was Story Of My Life, Idc was I don’t care and Ngl was Not gonna lie.

Other times, you aren’t so lucky. What next?

For on, you can ignore the abbreviation and its writer. This is Twitter not semester finals. If they wanted to be understood they could be clearer, adede abehe amo.*

For another, you can go on a fact-finding mission. Ask Google. Ask the Urban dictionary. DM that nerdy/hip friend on the TL that always knows what’s going on. Seek and you shall find.

You can take it a step further and ask in the thread, below the tweet, display your dated, old-fangled self for all to see. Get ready though, this can be embarrassing drawing the trolls like blood. You have been warned.

You could send the writer a DM, politely asking what the abbreviation meant. This is discrete and usually effective if you follow them and have DM access. If you don’t follow/don’t have access, don’t bother.

Ladies and gentlefolk, that it for getting through the landline of Twitter Abbreviations. Ignore, explore, inquire or not. Keep having a good time and don’t forget to share.

Love you all.

 

*Annang, means: that is their business
SMH: Shake My Head
KMT: Kiss My Teeth
HMU: Hit Me Up
LMK: Let Me Know
LWFMD:Laugh Wan Fall Me Down
LWKMD: Laugh Wan Kill Me Die
IDK: I don’t Know

OTP: On The Phone

MYB: Mind Your Business

IKR: I Know Right

FR: For Real

“This Table You Are Shaking” Origin, Usage & Influencer Chat

If you have been on Twitter for a week or two, one thing you must have noticed is the thirst to trend. Everyone wants to be relevant and in a global, viral, unforgettable way. Many brands and businesses even go as far as paying for people to make their ideas trend. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

So when an innocuous phrase seems to capture the attention of the entire TwitterNg overnight, without any big name endorsement, grand budget or media team, people are curious.

‘Shaking the table’ is no great poetic marvel. It is a simple idiom that describes disruption, interference, meddling with the norm. It is odd that its documentation in the Urban Dictionary is as early as October 2017, but that would not be enough to make it viral.

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For the phrase to capture the collective attention of thousands (millions) of people it needed a unique use, some synergy, an ability to deliver more than mere expression; it found this in the quote tweet.

Specifically the quote tweet used to comment on a subtweet.

Subtweets are as old as Twitter. They provide a subtle way of voicing ideas that are potentially embarrassing or controversial with little of the backlash. Without mentioning names or triggering anyone’s mentions one can effectively deliver barbs, abuse, shade or any combination of the three.

But most subtweets lack context and are not as effective as they could be.

Enter the quote tweet where added context can be provided.

But how to provide this context in a witty/satirical way? Cue ‘This table you are shaking” and in an instant the subtweet is united with it’s target in a witty/silly/more memorable manner.

The first use of the phrase, as a quoted tweet to give more context is credited to @MallamSawyerr. The origin tweet is not entirely ‘safe for work’ but it captured the imagination of a small set of users, one of them was @Olumuyiwa__ .

Olumuyiwa started using the phrase to add some context of his own. The first time, he used it in quotation marks as attribution to an unknown source. When the phrases popped up on @Olumuyiwa__ feed it was barely noticed. The phrase remained largely unnoticed the next time Olumuyiwa used it but he stayed with the phrase until it broke through.

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With that the phrase took wing and within days, there was an epidemic on the TL. It wasn’t only food on the table. There were babes, guys, activists-turned-government-spokesmen, On Air Personalities, BellaNaija, even the users of the phrase it self.

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In a chat with @Olumuyiwa__ he was quick to say he wasn’t the inventor of the phrase but someone who saw its potential and stayed with it till it caught on. Our chat went:

Me: It looks like you invented a trend..

Olumuyiwa: I didn’t invent it. I saw it somewhere and it stuck, ‘this table you are shaking has food on it’ it seemed really apt at the time.

Me: But you stayed with it till it caught on…

Olumuyiwa: Yes, I did, using it persistently till it racked up 200RTs, that I can take credit for 😂

Me: Absolutely. So what next? What do you think will happen after this?

Olumuyiwa: Nothing else. Just one of the many definitive but passing fads of social media.

Me: I quite agree.

Already, many people are fed up with the phrase. But I think it still has some more miles to go before joining the history books especially as some people are just falling in love with it.

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What better way to mock the next losers of a Champions League match, National election or Tweetfight than to remind them, they are pawns on a shaking table, in the next avalanche of subtweets?

***
Chats have been modified for clarity

Tribute To A Trailblazer

We were united by the web across time and space
we had the pleasure of your company, your thoughts, your generosity,
You lived for decorum
even in difference, in disagreement,
in jest,
the world is duller without you,
no one can take your place in our hearts,
no one can wear your colours, we bid you adieu,
may your life continue to inspire others, may your candle shine in the darkness, may we meet again someday,
Adieu Chivaneze.

***

This tribute marks the passing away of a friend, brother, son, follower @chivaneze

May we learn to live for eternity.

The Making of an Overlord

You will begin by opening an account. There will be no ‘conventionally beautiful’ pictures in your gallery so you will use one of Tiger Woods. When the scandal breaks you will change this quickly to Chiwetel Ejiofor, who wan die?

You will try to think of usernames but everything you come up with will already be taken. You will look longingly at the three letter handles and snobbishly at those filled with numbers and symbols. Finally you ll settle on something with a few extra letters thrown in. Tundrrr isn’t your first pick but you can live with it.

Your handle will attract a modest following, but that is over stating things. You have ninety followers but you know that half are bots. You ll agree to all the follow suggestions, attaching yourself to the feeds of several celebrities. They won’t follow you back. Soon you ll have a sense of worthlessness.

You will consider closing the account. You will even close it briefly before resurrecting it just in time, nothing will change.

One day in a fit of existential boredom you will wander into your account settings and begin fiddling with possible name changes. No one knows your name or your face, you can be anyone.

You decide to be pretty young girl, unemployed and naive. You call yourself Tola and change your username to sexxxxygirl and find a black little known pornstar’s picture and affix it. Your header changes from a rural football field to a lush black and velvet boudir.

You unfollow all the celebrities and follow similar handles instead: bustyBerve, greedypunta, xxxxxfroreal, hotcreamyfun.

The first thing that stuns you is the decorum. In this dark end of the street, everyone is polite. Good morning tweets are replied with kisses. Everyone is boo, sweetie and baby. All bodies and indeed all booties matter and every one gets likes and share.

You are still trying to fathom this when a miracle happens.

You get followed. Not by bots and company reps but by real people all over the world. They compliment your hair, your nails, your smile. They want to meet you, chat with you, sit out and have drinks with you.

Over night they are 2000 strong and counting.

You don’t know what to do. You watch and wait. The numbers keep climbing, 3000, 4000, 7000! Your notifications are paragraphs filled with new handles, many you ll never know or acknowledge.

You decide to play along and see how far it can go: you make some flirting comments, you like some racy posts, you RT some things you shouldn’t have and the numbers just keep swelling.

No one is asking for follow backs, no one is asking you to turn on notifications. No one is asking you to follow and share to be be followed back. It looks too good to be true, but it is. You are a god by now, but you aren’t sure what to do about it.

The you ll meet Trix, or rather trixlickalot and she ll light up your rather dead DMs. She ll tell you all about herself while you equivocate between half truth and full disclosure. You are scared she ll run if she knows you are a guy, but you will keep the friendship going offering help, advice and sometimes money. Not a lot of money but enough to make her squeal and OMG and type thank yous filling your screen with emojis. You toy with telling her your name is Tunde and not Tola, that you are a 5″10 male not a 5″5 female but you send her memes instead.

One night, a post looking for influencers catches your eye and you know what you must do. You change your handle to Progress2019 and follow the political influencers of the day. You get a professional picture taken, properly airbrushed to show you at your most handsome. By noon your alert confirms that you have been paid your first installment of influencing fees.

Trix stumbles into your DMs full of questions hurt and betrayal. You are still composing some kind of explanation when you discover you  can no longer send direct messages to that user.

(She ll forgive you later but not after all kinds of middlemen, peacemakers and go-betweens are sent with entreaties.)

You ll sit back now and exhale. Congratulations, you are now an overlord.

LindaGate: OMG LindaIkeji’s ‘Blog Not Found’

The past four days have witnessed an escalation of hostilities between Ms Linda Ikeji and a man known as MrAydee over copyright violations.

Mr Aydee accused Ms Ikeji of taking pictures from his blog and using them on hers without attribution. He asked for the posts to be taken down but says Ms Ikeji ignored him, then blocked him on Twitter.

Thereafter, he reported her to Google who took down the posts and according to Ms Ikeji changed her Adsense settings.

Mr Aydee and some other Twitter users alerted other global blogs to Ms Ikeji’s use of their material without permission, blogs like Getty Images and Daily Mail.

Yesterday, Ms Ikeji replied with a robust response stating that she had used material without permission but that so did every other person. She accused Mr Aydee and Jeremy Weate of wanting to bring her down.

At the end of her response she stated that God was with her and no one was big enough to bring her down.

Ayo Sorungo wrote a rejoinder. addressed to Ms Ikeji titled Re: The Guys That Want To Take LIB Down. In his letter he said,

“To people like me, the moral right to be acknowledged as the writer is sufficient, and we do not care much about the economic rights—which is why I will never get to buy a Range Rover.”

And went on to advise Ikeji on business model changes that would prevent such trouble in future.

Naija Twitter (as the Nigerian arm of Twitter is called) was aflame with opinions, jokes, jibes, twitfights and even death threats.

Some writers used the opportunity to re-open Intellectual Property (IP) debate in earnest. Elnathan John, Jeremy Weate, Sugabelly, and many others wrote to express their displeasure with the current state of affairs–Bloggers lifting material with intrepidity.

Linda Ikeji Blog Readers–LIBers as they are called– jumped to Ms Ikeji’s defence.

Also in her defence was MrFixNigeria, and Chude writer of ‘Are We The Turning Point Generation’ (Cough,cough) and owner of YNaija.

This afternoon however, Ms Ikeji’s blog was declared ‘not found’.

Does this mean the demise of the ‘most popular blog’ in Nigeria?

Only Time will tell.

12 Things They Never Told Me About Twitter.

Southern Nigeria, Jan 2010.

Chi-chi : Are you on Twitter?

Me: What is that?

Chi-Chi: A Social Media network. Like Facebook. You’ll love it! Just get it on your Ph–

Me: Forget it. Facebook is a handful already. I can’t.

Chi-Chi: Forget Facebook! Twitter is the place to be! You get to meet and tweet at all your favourite Celebs from all around the world….

Me: ( laughing ) … And? How does that help the pump prices?

Chi-Chi: Na you sabi, abeg Just try it. You’ll thank me later I promise.

Me: Hian! Okay o! But Chi-Chi, if this flops….

Western Nigeria, November 2013.

It has been about two years on this roller coaster ride called Twitter. Everytime I remember that talk with Chi-Chi I am just amazed at the power of Ignorance. My Ignorance. And its ability to keep us holed up, bound, trapped in old ways, habits, religions and relationships.

Today, I want to share twelve things I have learnt, from the minute I took the plunge into this crazy Aviaspora pool, to date. Six today, six later. I pray this will give someone out there a heads up on their Twitter game, and courage to try something new this week.

After all ‘strangers are friends we haven’t met yet.’

Gracias.

1. Choose a short and catchy name.
Hey, Welcome To Twitter! Great to have here Mr Samaila Toochukwu NtantaOffiong Jaiyesola!

I believed all that, but no one told me that a successful twitter handle is as brief as possible. Not too short, as to be forgettable, not too long as to stick out by the sides. Just right. It took me all of 4 months to morph into StNaija. But it was worth it. 🙂

2. Break your egg.

Pictures are a universal language. The world, is a globe. One thing any Twitter user can understand is pictures. The Egg you get when you open an account needs to be changed. Fast. More on this in Part 2. 🙂

3. Create or Carve or Kidnap a niche

Where do you belong? What sort of things are you

1. Very knowledgeable about

2. Very Enthusiastic about.

Let the answers to these questions guide your Follow/unfollow, Tweet/Retweet, Mention/Ignore actions. On Twitter, Less is often more.

4. Decide why you are here

Why did you open a Twitter account?

To read? Inform? Make money? Meet people? Stay current? More on this in Part 2.

5. Watch your Profile

How well do you know your statistics?

How do they compete with ‘Industry’ averages?

What are your ratios? (More on those in…you got it…part 2.)

6. Guard it Jealously.

Yup. You have to watch that basket. Else you’ll find that your eggs hatched but some wicked tweet thief came and stole them all.

What are your strategies to keep people following you? (???)

*

I hope you enjoyed that. What didn’t they tell you about Twitter? Please share with us below.

Munto Obrigado/a